How to Chicago: If you Bike, Wear White

Drawing by Wilson


25. Survive. Back in my sports radio listening days the renowned commentator Tony Kornheiser used to sign his show off with “If your’e out on your bike tonight, do wear white”.  Initially it struck me as a peculiar way to end a sports show. As time passed however, I began to really appreciate what I thought was a solid and unique public service announcement. Later I heard that it was more a tribute to the Rolling Stones tune “Something Happened To Me Yesterday”.

Blah, blah blah…..who cares. I’ve been observing bike riders during dusk, early and full evening for years now. I must continue to pass the advice on. If you are out on your bike tonight, do wear white. It makes a shocking difference in your visibility to drivers. Bike reflectors do not get the job done. It’s stunning how often I see people young and not young zipping around the neighborhood in black T-shirts and dark shorts. They appear from nowhere. Drivers cannot see you until they are figuratively on top of you. An easy way to keep that statement from going literal would be to throw on a white T-shirt before you head out on your high wheel. Give yourself a fighting chance.

Dedicated to Philando.

Fear is not an excuse for murder. 

How to Chicago: Abduction Instruction, or Abduction Obstruction.? Ok Fine. Stranger Danger

17. Survive.  Final tip for April….Stranger danger was not just a trendy panic during the Reagan administration. You certainly, without question must teach your offspring about kidnappers. Think like a criminal and present as many different scenarios to your clones as you can muster. Although “Do you want some candy?” can probably be upgraded with “How about some free wifi?”.  Do it early in their life and do it often.  

“Run!” pretty much sums up my advice. Monsters may threaten that they have a gun or knife, but they don’t, or if they show one, ignore it. It’s an empty threat to scare. Run! It’s your best defense. Yelling “Help!” “Police!” is important too. Create a scene.